Shade tree mechanics, I need your stories!

[Kurt Bilinski]

I'm doing research for my next book, compiling stories of shade-tree mechanic disasters. I'm after true stories only, preferable about yourself, though as long as it's in good nature, it can be about your buddies, too. No nasty or bad stories please, but ones that we can read and laugh out loud.

Typical stories might include: draining oil onto the garage floor because you forgot to put the plug back in, strange noises from the car that, had you paid attention, wouldn't have resulted in the wheels leaving company, spending hours debugging why the car won't start, only to find that your buddy disconnected the ECU hours before, that sort of thing.

Either post the stories here, or send them to kiminicooper1@yahoo.com. I will, of course, include my own embarrassing stories. Be sure to include your name so I can give you credit. My work is in searching far and wide for the best stories, which I expect will take several years. Posting stories here should be considered permission for me to include them in the book, and I also reserve the right to make any necessary grammar corrections.

Thank you,

Kurt Bilinski

[Kurt Bilinski]

I'm doing research for my next book, compiling stories of shade-tree mechanic disasters. I'm after true stories only, preferable about yourself, though as long as it's in good nature, it can be about your buddies, too. No nasty or bad stories please, but ones that we can read and laugh out loud.

Typical stories might include: draining oil onto the garage floor because you forgot to put the plug back in, strange noises from the car that, had you paid attention, wouldn't have resulted in the wheels leaving company, spending hours debugging why the car won't start, only to find that your buddy disconnected the ECU hours before, that sort of thing.

Either post the stories here, or send them to kiminicooper1@yahoo.com. I will, of course, include my own embarrassing stories. Be sure to include your name so I can give you credit. My work is in searching far and wide for the best stories, which I expect will take several years. Posting stories here should be considered permission for me to include them in the book, and I also reserve the right to make any necessary grammar corrections.

Thank you,

Kurt Bilinski

[Kurt Bilinski]

Alright, I'll go first:

Here's one that happened to an coworker.

He'd borrowed a motorhome from a buddy for the weekend. Returning it on Sunday, he wanted to dump the holding tank (full of crap, literally). So he manuevers the RV into place, with the outlet directly over the drain. Knowing this could be kinda discusting, he puts on overalls, the one-piece type with the zipper up the front (wondering where this is going?)

So he opens the hatch to the drain valve, looking around to figure what to turn. He sees a valve that looks like the right one, one that he has to reach in to get to. Unfortunately he hadn't quite zipped up the overalls all the way. It all came together in a slow-motion train wreck. He, on his knees leaning in to open the valve, his overalls slightly open, and the drain pointing, yes, directly into his open overalls.

He opens the valve and <whoosh> the stuff starts shooting out of the drain - directly into his overalls. He completely goes nuts and tries to back away and/or stand up, but his overalls catch on the outlet flange. So there he was, filling up like a balloon. By the time he stands up, his pantlegs are puffed way out (because he sensibly had tucked his pantlegs into his boots - just in case. It was quite the sight, and all true.

[bribyk]

Alright, I'll chip a couple in. My buddy has a lot of gooders.

Whilst changing the oil on his '92 Civic he removed his transmission drain plug (in his defense they are only about a foot apart and both use engine oil). He gets out from under the car and begins to add his 4.5 L (more) of synthetic engine oil to the engine fill. He only figured something was wrong when the oil started coming out the dipstick tube. He then had to bum a lift to the autoparts store to buy another $70 worth of synthetic oil to refill both.

Along a similar note to your story, my buddy sold the Civic and bought a Jeep Cherokee. He was changing his fuel filter at his dad's shop where they have one of those 3ft wide pits under the floor to work under the vehicle. He hadn't relieved the pressure on the fuel system and when he was trying to disconnect one of the plastic fittings (probably with vice grips) it split open and the fuel line broke loose. He ended up trapped in the end of this pit while the fuel hose whipped around and unloaded it's contents all over him. It's a good thing he doesn't smoke...

Brian Bobyk

PS - Love the book Kurt, I was the guy that bought your last one at FSAE West.

[BrendonD]

I don't have any funny ones, but me and my dad were putting our '69 Z28 back together, and we got it running pretty well. My dad reached his hand into the engine bay (with the car now shut off of course) to remove the inductor clip for the timing light, and the lower radiator hose burst off the water pump. 3rd degree burns on his arm... just glad it wasn't his face.

[JerryLH3]

The oil cooler lines on second generation RX-7s are notorious for eventually leaking. Mine eventually started leaking, so I ordered a new pair. Changing them can be a bit of a pain in the arse. One of the lines attaches to the front of the engine, which means the fan and the shroud had to come out. This will come back to haunt me.

After changing the lines and getting everything back together, I start the engine to check for leaks. Sure enough, one of the lines at the cooler wasn't quite tight and oil started spewing everywhere. I quickly shut it off and tightened the line some more.

I start the car again to let it warm up and drive it around the block. To expedite the warming process I revved the engine in the garage. As quickly as I had brought the RPMs up I hear a loud bang, followed by lots of clanging and then just the sound of the engine. I shut it off. I looked into the engine bay to find the fan lying over by the battery and all four studs that attaches the fan to the water pump lying on the floor. When I put the fan back on I had only put two of the four nuts on and they were only hand tight. As soon as I revved the engine all of the studs sheared straight off.

[PatClarke]

Jerry, You learned an important lesson the hard way. It could have been easier had you read the advice of older and wiser mechanics!
NEVER temporarily fit threaded fasteners without properly torquing them up, even if you think you will need to disassemble again. Always tighten them! For the very reason you found. It is a good habit to get in to.
It could have been much worse had you been assembling the chassis and forgot some suspension or brake bolts!
Pat

[JerryLH3]

I did learn my lesson the hard way. In some what of a lame defense, I believe it was a phone call that had distracted me from finishing putting on all the nuts. Regardless, I should have double checked everything. Which is something I now do.

[Biggy72]

I was putting my engine back in my fox body mustang race car. Everything went together alright, but when I took it for a test drive I couldn't get the clutch to disengage. I figured it must just be out of adjustment so I adjusted the cable.

This didn't work. The only other adjustment I could see was to change the pivot on the back of the clutch fork. In order to do this the transmission needed to come back out since there is no access hole. Luckily the garage I was working on it in had a lift and a transmission jack for the lift. We tried about 5 different combinations of heights before it was too late and I had to race the car without being able to disengage the clutch. We were able to get removing the transmission down to an art and we could get it out in about 20 minutes.

A week later I broke a lifter and had to pull the motor. Upon pulling it I saw that the clutch disk was all beat up looking. It was too bad I didn't realize I put the clutch disk in backward before we had all of that work into it.